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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755208">Anything You Want</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoys_minx/pseuds/malfoys_minx'>malfoys_minx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Rough With The Smooth [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Dom/sub Undertones, Friends to Lovers, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Rough Sex, Top Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:13:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22755208</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoys_minx/pseuds/malfoys_minx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky rescues Steve from another back alley brawl, it doesn't take him long to realise that this time there's something his friend isn't telling him. After all, Steve's always been something of an asshole when he's angry, worse when he's scared, but in all their years of knowing each other, Bucky has never seen him like this. The trouble is, Bucky's always been too stupid for him to hold him to account, no matter how far Steve pushes him in the heat of the moment, although... the moment has never been quite this heated before.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Rough With The Smooth [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>209</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Anything You Want</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Unlike one Steven Grant Rogers, Bucky didn't actually like getting into fights in back alleys. Still, he wouldn't deny that there was a certain satisfaction to be had in the crunch of his fist breaking a man's nose after he'd just knocked Steve to the ground. There were two of them this time, both significantly larger than his diminutive friend, but no match for an angry Bucky Barnes and given the abuse the men had been hurling at Steve while they wailed on him, he was one <em> hell </em> of an angry Bucky Barnes just then. Another couple of punches and a swift kick had both men fleeing and sure he felt a <em> little </em> bad for fighting dirty, but after the places that jerk had been threatening to put his dick, Bucky had very few qualms about stopping him from doing <em> anything </em>with it in the immediate future.</p><p>"You ok?" He asked, offering a hand to Steve, who took it just long enough to pull himself up, before snatching his own hand away again.</p><p>"Fine." The other man replied curtly, not bothering to wait for Bucky before stomping off towards the street, a slight limp in his stride.</p><p>"Hey." Bucky jogged a few yards to catch up to his friend, throwing his arm around his shoulders the way he always did, only for it to be immediately shrugged off. "Steve?"</p><p>This time there was no response at all and Steve didn't so much as glance back at him as he turned the corner. By the time Bucky had overcome his shock and chased after him again, his friend was already halfway down the block and when Bucky caught up to him a moment later all he did was shoot him a glare before quickening his pace.</p><p>After that Bucky didn't even try to speak again until their front door closed behind them, hoping that their neighbours wouldn't be able to hear too much when Steve inevitably exploded. It was hardly unusual for the other man to lose his temper and Bucky had seen him much angrier than this before, but usually he got mad on behalf of other people. From what he'd overheard in that alley though, it wasn't anyone else's virtue that his friend had been defending. Those assholes had been going after <em> Steve </em> and Bucky didn't think he'd ever seen him react like that to a slight against himself, no matter how deeply it had got under his skin.</p><p>"What's with you?" Bucky demanded firmly, figuring it would be better to get the outburst over with sooner rather than later.</p><p>"Why'd you always have to get involved? I can look after myself." Steve snapped, kicking his shoes halfway across the room. </p><p>"I know you can, but I ain't gonna just stand by and watch, am I?" He did his best to keep his voice even as he took off his own boots in a somewhat more mild-mannered way. </p><p>"So don't watch, just fuck off and leave me to it." Steve shot back. </p><p>"Come on, Rogers, you know I can't do that."</p><p>Steve just glared at him before spinning on his heel and stomping off towards the bedroom. He was so riled he was practically shaking with it and Bucky didn't dare let him out of his sight when he was still like this.</p><p>"I don't get why you're so mad, what did they say to you?" He pushed, knowing he needed to get the other man talking.</p><p>"Nothing I ain't heard a dozen times before." Steve muttered without looking at him.</p><p>Of course, Bucky knew what he was talking about, he'd heard enough of it before he'd hurled himself into the fray, but surely that wasn't what had got his friend's back up so bad. Much as he hated to think about it, Steve was right, it was hardly the first time he'd got into a fight after someone called him queer. It wasn't even the first time someone had threatened to fuck him, only Steve usually brushed it off like it was nothing.</p><p>"So what was different this time?"</p><p>"They said they saw me comin' outta Jack's, didn't they? Or did you miss that part?" </p><p>Bucky <em> had </em> missed that part. Whether it was because he hadn't got there in time or if he'd simply been distracted attempting to beat one of Steve's assailants to a pulp, he wasn't sure, but at least now he knew why his friend was so riled up. </p><p>"So, they're full of crap just like all the other assholes that don't know when to keep their mouths shut." Bucky tried to reassure him, even as his own heart clenched in fear, because they both knew that a rumour like <em> that </em>could do a hell of a lot of damage, no matter that it wasn't true. "You know they're just making shit up to try and scare you, everyone knows you ain't any of those things."</p><p>"You'd think I'd hear it less if that was true." Steve bit out, refusing to meet his gaze. "And what about you? It don't bother you, living with me when guys shout that stuff at me in the middle of the damn street, front'a everyone? They'll come for you next if you ain't careful."</p><p>"Come on, you know I don't care what anyone says and I know you're not like that." <em> Not like I am</em>, he added in his head.</p><p>Steve laughed, but it was a harsh, bitter sound and when he suddenly looked right at him, the viciousness in his face had Bucky stepping back, his eyes going wide even before Steve spoke, cutting him open with his words just as surely as if he'd taken a blade to Bucky's chest. </p><p>"Yeah 'cos you know me so well, don't you?" </p><p>"Don't I?" His voice sounded weak to his own ears, but he was still reeling from the venom in the other man's words. </p><p>He'd seen his friend angry before, angrier than this even and he'd seen him scared. He knew that Steve had a tendency to lash out when something really frightened him and Bucky could see now that the other man was profoundly shaken by what those jerks had said to him, but no matter how angry or scared he was, Steve had <em> never </em> been cruel.</p><p>"No, you don't." His friend bit out. "You don't have a fucking <em> clue</em>. Even those two assholes in the alley knew me better than you do."</p><p>"How can they possibly-" He started, only for Steve to cut him off with another harsh laugh. </p><p>"Because they're right." Steve glared, his voice sharp and brittle as he dropped his bombshell. "I <em> am </em> queer, Buck, I'm a fucking fairy. They probably did see me leaving Jack's, for all I know, I go there often enough." </p><p>"<em>What</em>?" He choked, struggling to breathe through the feeling of his entire world turning upside down. </p><p>"You heard me." The other man muttered and suddenly Bucky was angry too, not because Steve had kept this from him, not even because he was apparently blaming Bucky for not knowing something he'd intentionally kept secret, but because he was <em> scared</em>. More than scared, he was downright fucking <em> petrified</em>, because he knew of Jack's, hell <em> everyone </em>knew of Jack's and the thought of Steve going there filled him with more abject terror than he'd felt since the last bout of pneumonia had nearly taken his friend away from him for good. </p><p>"You fucking <em> idiot</em>." He thundered, momentarily too rattled to so much as attempt to modulate his tone. </p><p>When Steve didn't even try to defend himself, merely glaring sullenly back at him, Bucky forced himself to suck in a steadying breath before continuing more quietly, though no less furiously. </p><p>"Do you know how often the cops raid that place? You could have been arrested or worse. What the hell were you thinking?" </p><p>"So it's ok for you to go out and chase dames every weekend, but if I want to go out and meet someone I'm an idiot? You know there are guys there that actually <em> want </em>me." </p><p>"Of course there are, they'd be blind not to." Bucky snapped and <em> fuck </em>he shouldn't have said that, but Steve barely seemed to be listening to him anyway and he pressed on before the words could filter through the haze of anger and into the other man's brain. "But you could have ended up in jail. What do you not understand about that? It's fucking dangerous. Why the hell would you even risk it?" </p><p>"The hell do you think?"</p><p>"You need to get your rocks off so bad you'd risk spending the rest of your life rotting in a cell? You'd die in jail, Steve." And he hadn't even thought about that until he said it, but it was true. He'd be surprised if his friend lasted a whole winter in prison and the thought of it was enough to make him feel sick to his stomach.</p><p>"You think I don't know that?"</p><p>"Then <em> why</em>?" Bucky demanded.</p><p>"Because I can't have you." Steve hurled the words at him as if each one was a jagged rock and sure enough, they hit their mark, tearing through him like daggers. </p><p>Steve looked so angry, Bucky wasn't even sure he was aware of what he'd just revealed, but <em> Bucky </em> was and suddenly his temper was gone, replaced by the devastating notion that his friend was risking his fucking <em> life </em>because he thought he had to go out to get something Bucky was more than willing to offer him at home. He'd just been too much of a coward to let the other man know that.</p><p>"But you can." He said quietly.</p><p>"What?" Steve seemed more confused by his tone than what he'd said and at that Bucky was even more certain that his friend hadn't realised what he'd confessed. </p><p>"You <em> can </em> have me. You can have anything you want, just don't go back there, <em> please</em>, Steve." </p><p>"I can have..." He trailed off, staring at Bucky as if he'd never seen him before. "You can't mean that."</p><p>"I can. I <em> do</em>." </p><p>"You'd do that? You'd give me what I get at Jack's right here? Really, Barnes?" His voice dripped with sarcasm. </p><p>"Yes." He assured him, voice firm despite the fact he could barely swallow around the lump wedged in his throat.</p><p>"So you'd let me fuck you?" Steve sneered and it was obvious he was trying to get a rise out of him, though he couldn't possibly imagine the sort of rise he <em> was </em>getting from Bucky at the mere thought of his friend doing that to him.</p><p>"I'll do more than let you." He promised, unable to keep the huskiness from his voice. "I'll beg you."</p><p>When Steve opened his mouth to argue back <em> again</em>, Bucky ran out of patience, crossing the room in a handful of strides before dropping to his knees at his friend's feet. Of course, there was a big part of him that knew this was a really fucking bad idea. This was important and doing it while Steve was still too blinded by rage and fear to really know what he was doing was likely to backfire spectacularly, but Bucky was no saint and he wanted it too much. Was too scared that the other man would never allow it when he was calm enough to be rational.</p><p>"What do you want, Steve? Anything you want and it's yours. You wanna fuck my hand? My mouth? My ass? Do it. <em> Please</em>, Stevie, I need you to do it." His voice cracked and he snapped his mouth shut abruptly.</p><p>"Buck..." Steve's tone was the softest it had been since Bucky stumbled across him in the alley and his breath hitched at the sound of it, even though he knew it wouldn't last, <em> couldn't </em>last when the other man was still wound up so tight.</p><p>Sure enough, a second later, Steve's hand suddenly jerked forward, catching almost violently at Bucky's face. He wasn't remotely surprised by the rough treatment and it wasn't nearly enough to stop him from leaning into the touch.</p><p>"Anything you want." He repeated.</p><p>"Anything?" Steve swallowed audibly, digging his thumb into Bucky's cheek and forcing his mouth open.</p><p>This time he simply nodded, letting his tongue slip out to moisten his dry lips, silently begging the other man not to stop.</p><p>"Fine." Steve told him sharply, keeping his hand tight on Bucky's face as he raised the other to his pants, working them open with deft fingers and freeing his cock from its fabric confines. </p><p>He wasn't fully hard yet, but he was certainly interested and when Bucky licked his lips again at the sight of it so close to his mouth, it twitched, swelling visibly as he continued to stare.</p><p>"Well? What you waiting for?" Steve's words were harsh, but there was already a breathless quality to them that had Bucky biting back a moan.</p><p>Before the other man could change his mind or come to his senses, Bucky lunged forward, wrapping his lips around his friend's cock. This time he did moan, the feel of Steve hardening on his tongue more than enough to set his pulse racing because <em> fuck</em>, he'd imagined this so many times. And sure he hadn't ever imagined it quite like this, with his friend still simmering with rage, his hands rough on Bucky's face as he held him firmly in place, but he didn't care. </p><p>When Steve pushed himself deeper, Bucky simply knelt there and took it, trying not to gag as the other man thrust urgently between his lips. He wasn't sure he should like this, was almost certain that he shouldn't be taking pleasure from the product of his friend's fear, but he couldn't help it. His own cock pressed hot and heavy against the inside of his pants and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep from touching himself much longer. When Steve suddenly shifted, thrusting deep enough to make him choke, it was nearly too much for the fragile hold he had on his self-control, only before he could even think about moving to grip himself through his clothes, the other man was pulling back.</p><p>"No." He rasped, grabbing for his friend's wrist before he could get out of reach. "Don't stop."</p><p>Steve shook his head in disbelief, but Bucky couldn't bear for him to stop now or worse, walk out on him to get his relief somewhere else, with <em> someone </em>else.</p><p>"Come <em> on</em>, Steve, finish it." He begged pathetically, shamefully conscious of the trickle of spit rolling down his chin, but worried that the other man would somehow take offence to him wiping it away.</p><p>"What? You <em> want </em>to choke on my dick?" His friend demanded, looking faintly revolted, though Bucky wasn't sure if he was more disgusted by Bucky's behaviour or his own.</p><p>"I don't care, just <em> please</em>..."</p><p>"What if I don't want to finish in your mouth?" Steve questioned, apparently still trying to get a rise from Bucky as he reached out with his free hand, cupping his slick jaw and digging his fingers sharply into his cheeks again.</p><p>"Then don't. Finish wherever, however you like." The words tripped off his tongue, falling over themselves in his desperation. "Finish on me... <em> In </em>me... Anything you want." He promised again.</p><p>"Fine." Steve snapped, tightening his grip even further, before releasing him abruptly and yanking his arm free of Bucky's hold as he took a step back. "Get up."</p><p>He nearly stumbled as he climbed hastily to his feet, but the other man didn't help him. In fact, the moment he was upright and well before he'd got his balance, Steve was shoving at him, spinning him round and pushing him into the back of the sofa. A rough hand at the small of his back had him bending over it and then Steve's fingers were snaking around his waist, hastily tugging his pants open, before shoving Bucky's clothes down to his thighs.</p><p>"You ever fucked anyone before?" Steve demanded, grabbing hold of Bucky's cheeks with both hands and spreading them apart. </p><p>The strange pull on his skin combined with the position he'd been forced into, made him feel more exposed than he ever had before and it was an effort not to squirm. There was a significant part of him that longed to shy away, to pull himself out of Steve's rough hold and cover himself. There was another darker part of him, however, that relished it; that loved having his friend looking at him that way, loved the roughness of his touch, and he couldn't bear to stop.</p><p>"You know I haven't." Bucky admitted shakily, not that he imagined sticking it to a dame would have helped at all with what Steve was about to do to him. "I'd have told you if I had."</p><p>"I didn't tell you that I had." The other man retorted as he released Bucky to dig in his pocket for something.</p><p>It wasn't exactly a surprise, not after everything else Steve had told him tonight, but it didn't make it hurt any less, didn't dull the sharp sting of jealousy or the deep ache in his heart at yet another reminder of how much his friend had been keeping from him. He knew it wasn't fair to blame him for that, not when Bucky had kept his own feelings so close to his chest, but it wasn't quite the same. Steve hadn't just kept his feelings to himself, he'd had a whole life behind Bucky's back. A life that could have got him killed and yet he hadn't thought it important enough to share it with Bucky... or hadn't trusted him enough, and it cut deep. He didn't feel remotely better about it when out of the corner of his eye he saw Steve tug a small unmarked tin from his pocket, because Bucky didn't need a label to work out what it contained. </p><p>The discovery that his friend carried Vaseline with him even when he wasn't going any place special, as if he never knew when he might need it, was almost more startling than all the rest of it. Steve must do this an awful lot if he felt the need to always be prepared like some sort of perverted boy scout and the fact that he was about to use it now, with Bucky, was barely enough to distract him from the sickening thought of how many men had come before him. Only before he could let himself get worked up over it, Steve was pushing a slick finger into his ass and every other thought evaporated from his head at the feel of it.</p><p>It wasn't that he'd expected the other man to be gentle, but he'd thought he might at least give him a little warning, especially knowing that Bucky had never done this before. Yet Steve didn't so much as hesitate, pushing his finger in as deep as it would go, barely even giving Bucky time to adjust to the not entirely pleasant sensation before pulling almost completely out and then repeating the motion again. Trying to force himself into relaxing, Bucky spread his legs as far as he could within the confines of the clothing still caught around the top of his thighs, only Steve seemed to take that as an invitation and the next moment, there were <em> two </em>fingers pushing into him, well before he was ready.</p><p>Sucking in a rough breath at the burn, he bit down hard on his lip, refusing to release so much as a whimper in case the other man took it as a sign to stop. The last thing he wanted, he realised quickly, was for Steve to stop, or even to slow down. Although he didn't know <em> what </em>to think about that; that he liked the burn almost as much as the edge of pleasure that was quickly growing to eclipse the pain despite the other man's roughness.</p><p>"You want another?" Steve hissed into his ear, leaning into him as he fucked him mercilessly with his fingers, twisting and spreading them sharply inside Bucky's body on every other thrust. "Or are you so desperate for my cock you can't wait any more?"</p><p>"Just do it." Bucky told him, still too scared that Steve might stop to risk waiting any longer, no matter how much it might hurt.</p><p>He felt Steve pull out completely this time, heard the wet sound of the other man slicking himself up and then he was back, the thick head of his cock pushing unrelentingly at Bucky's hole. Sucking in a deep breath, he tried to relax, tried to convince his body that it wanted this as much as his head did, but he couldn't pretend it didn't hurt. Clamping his mouth shut, he bit down hard on his tongue in an only semi-successful attempt to muffle his whimper of pain. Whether Steve genuinely didn't hear him or simply didn't care, however, he didn't stop, forcing himself into Bucky as deep as he could go. </p><p>"This what you wanted?" His friend panted in his ear and all he could do was nod desperately, his body clenching around the intrusion as he fought down another whimper. </p><p>Steve didn't say anything else after that, focusing on pulling almost the whole way out before thrusting back in <em> hard</em>. It fucking <em> hurt </em> that time, far worse than any of the rest of it had, and Bucky felt his eyes filling with helpless tears, but he didn't tell Steve to stop, didn't tell him to slow down. He simply bit down on his lip until he tasted blood and <em> took </em> it, took whatever the other man was willing to give him. The second thrust, at least, was a little easier, his body slowly beginning to adjust to the feel of Steve inside him. <em> The feel of Steve inside him</em>... And fucking hell, wasn't that something. </p><p>The third thrust had his lips falling open in a soundless cry and he quickly stuffed his fist into his mouth to keep himself silent. He couldn't let Steve stop now, he <em> couldn't</em>. Because it didn't matter that it hurt, it didn't matter that it was rough and angry, that he'd likely have finger shaped bruises on his hips afterwards and wouldn't be able to sit down for days. It didn't <em> matter</em>, just as long as it was <em> Steve </em> hurting him that way. Because as much as it hurt, it felt so fucking good too and Bucky didn't understand it, how something could bring him so much pain and pleasure all at once, but he thought he might even be able to come just from this. </p><p>The best part however, wasn't how good he was feeling. No, it was knowing that <em> Steve </em> was feeling good too and from the way the other man was pounding into him now; the frantic rhythm of his thrusts interspersed with the sharp sound of his gasping breaths, Bucky knew his friend had to be getting close. It didn't even matter to him just then if the only thing Steve cared about was chasing his release, because it was what Bucky wanted too; for him to come, for Bucky's body to be the reason for his friend's pleasure, and even the mere thought of Steve coming inside him, of filling him up with it, was nearly too much for him to bear. He could feel his own body tensing, his ass squeezing tighter around the other man's cock and he was so fucking <em> close</em>, but he wanted, <em> needed </em> Steve to come first. </p><p>As though hearing his thoughts, Steve did just that. His body jerked abruptly, his violent rhythm finally faltering, and then Bucky felt it; the flood of wetness deep inside him, the tremble of his friend's hands where they gripped him just a little too hard, the harsh sound of his exhale as he bent over Bucky's body and Bucky nearly smiled. Only then Steve was pulling out, so fast that he could feel the slickness of the other man's release trickling out of him and before he could so much as lift his head, Steve was gone, his footsteps echoing loudly before the door to the bathroom slammed shut behind him. </p><p>For a moment Bucky remained frozen exactly how the other man had left him, struggling to process that he was really gone. That Steve was still in the apartment, that he hadn't walked straight out the front door wasn't much of a consolation, but it was all Bucky had to cling to and cling to it he did as he fought to pull himself back together. He knew he needed to stand up, needed to compose himself again before his friend returned to the room, but it wasn't until he heard the clunk of the pipes followed by the splash of water into the sink, that he finally managed to force himself to move. Straightening slowly, he winced at the pull of his muscles before reaching behind himself with tentative fingers, feeling for the slick, slightly swollen skin around his hole. </p><p>There was a part of him that seriously considered pushing his own digits into himself and finishing what Steve had started, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it. The ache in his balls, still half trapped in his underwear was nothing compared to the pain in his chest. It wasn't even that he'd expected to get to curl up in the other man's arms afterwards, he'd known from the start that was hardly on the cards, but he'd thought Steve wanted this, wanted <em> him</em>, and for his friend to leave him like this. His <em> friend</em>. Were they even that any more? </p><p>Pulling his fingers back, he glanced down at them, relieved to find, at least, that he didn't appear to be bleeding, before wiping them off on his shirt and reaching for his pants. It wasn't the easiest of tasks, getting them done up over his still straining erection, but he managed it eventually, ignoring the way his body screamed at him for release with every brush of fingers or fabric over his hard cock. Once he'd managed that however, he wasn't sure what to do next. The bathroom door was still closed, though he could no longer hear the sound of water running, but even if it hadn't been occupied, he wasn't sure he'd make it that far on his shaky legs. Instead he simply limped around to the front of the sofa, hissing in pain when he all but collapsed onto the cushions. </p><p>"You'd do anything to keep me safe wouldn't you?" Steve's voice was thick with bitterness and at the sound of it, his head jerked up, not having heard the other man coming back into the room.</p><p>"Is it such a terrible thing that I care about you?"</p><p>Steve flinched and Bucky belatedly noticed the way he was holding himself, his shoulders curled inwards as if he was trying to make himself even smaller than he already was. He felt guilty, Bucky realised, probably thought he'd hurt him, only he was still angry, still too fucking stubborn to just apologise and move on. Assuming of course that they <em> could </em>move on from this. Not that he had any intention of letting the other man go without a fight. He'd tie him to his damn bed if he had to, but he'd keep his friend safe if it was the last thing he ever did.</p><p>"It is if it gets you hurt in the process." Steve muttered darkly.</p><p>"I'm fine, I won't break that easy." </p><p>"So what <em> will </em> break you, huh? We just gonna keep going till you can't take any more? How much more will you let me do just to keep me <em> safe</em>?" He said the last word as if it were dirty, his lip curling as it left his mouth. </p><p>"I'd do anything to keep you safe, you know that." </p><p>This at least was an argument he was familiar with. They'd sure as hell fought about it enough times before, but even so, something about this time felt different. </p><p>"Throwing yourself in front of some other guy's fist isn't quite the same as letting me fuck you raw." </p><p>Bucky tried not to flinch at the bitterness in Steve's tone and knowing that he'd brought this on himself did nothing to help. </p><p>"You said you wanted me..." He pointed out quietly, half expecting the other man to take it back now, but needing to know one way or the other what his friend was really after. Did he just want a convenient fuck? Someone he could trust not to turn him over to the cops or beat him up in some back alley, or did he want something else? Something more? </p><p>"And that's all that matters?" Steve demanded. "Give poor little Stevie anything he wants just to protect him from the big bad queers at Jack's." </p><p>"This has nothing to do with Jack's." Bucky bit out, his tone harsher than he'd intended at the reminder of all the men that had come before him. </p><p>"Then what <em> has </em>it to do with?" Steve retorted just as sharply. </p><p>"You and me." Bucky snapped automatically, before forcing himself to take a breath, continuing as gently as he could manage despite his frustration. "Just that. Just <em> us</em>." </p><p>"<em>Us</em>?" Steve shook his head incredulously. "There is no <em> us</em>. You like dames, remember?"</p><p>"Not the way I like you." Bucky assured him, making his voice as quietly earnest as he could. "Never liked anyone the way I like you." </p><p>"But I ain't a dame." Steve protested, only there was something in his tone that gave Bucky just a little hope that the worst of their argument was over. </p><p>"Think you made that pretty clear already." He tried for levity, but he wasn't quite sure he'd hit the mark and he pressed on quickly before Steve's temper could peak again. "And I don't want a dame, I want <em> you</em>."</p><p>At that Steve seemed to stop breathing, eyes wide as he stared back at him. "Buck, I..." He trailed off almost immediately and took a step forward instead only to stumble to an abrupt halt halfway across the room, his gaze locked on Bucky's lap. "You're hard."</p><p>"Yeah." He shrugged, wondering if Steve really hadn't noticed that before.</p><p>"I..." The other man looked stricken suddenly. "I'm sorry, Bucky, I..."</p><p>"I know." He tried to smile. "I shoulda known better than to try and seduce you when you were angry."</p><p>Steve's jaw dropped and for just a second longer he remained frozen to the spot, but then suddenly he was moving, practically flying across the space to drop down onto the sofa beside him. At the same time his hands rose to take Bucky's face between his hands, the touch the total opposite of the way he'd clutched Bucky's head while he fucked his mouth.</p><p>"I'm a jerk." Steve told him thickly. "I don't know why you put up with me."</p><p>"S'amazing what a guy'll do when he's in love."</p><p>"Buck..." His friend's eyes were wide and Bucky knew he must look like a love sick fool, but he couldn't seem to help it.</p><p>"Can I kiss you?" The words were out before he'd even realised he was going to say them, but to his relief, Steve's expression only softened further.</p><p>"Course you can." He whispered, looking like he might cry. </p><p>Feeling suddenly nervous, Bucky leaned in, barely even touching Steve's lips with his own before starting to pull back. He wanted to check his friend's expression, wanted to be sure this was really what the other man wanted, but before he could put more than an inch of space between them, Steve's hands tightened where they still cupped his jaw. Only it wasn't like before, the hold far too gentle to be anything but kind; a request for Bucky to remain in place, rather than a demand. As if he would deny Steve anything now. As if he ever could. </p><p>When Steve closed the distance between them again, he was far less tentative than Bucky had been, his lips moving determinedly against Bucky's own, but the kiss was no less sweet because of it. In fact, in all the years since his very first kiss at the tender age of fifteen, Bucky didn't think anyone had ever kissed him like this, as if he were something precious, to be valued and treasured. It was so far from the way Steve had taken him that he was sure it could only be an apology, but when it was over, his friend finally releasing his hold on Bucky's face, he didn't move away and for that Bucky couldn't help but be thankful. </p><p>"Why'd you let me do that to you?" Steve asked quietly. </p><p>"Because I wanted you to."</p><p>"Like that?" The other man shook his head. "You shoulda stopped me or told me to slow down at least..."</p><p>"You needed to get it out of your system somehow." Bucky pointed out. "And I didn't want you to leave. Figured you'd only go off and get in trouble if I didn't keep you here. Find someone else to take it out on..." He snapped his mouth closed at the sound of his own pitiful jealousy.</p><p>"I coulda really hurt you." Steve's voice was little more than a whisper, his expression wretched.</p><p>"But you didn't." He promised. "It was good, really good."</p><p>"You're still hard, Buck, you didn't even come."</p><p>"But I'm hard, ain't I? Wouldn't be if it hadn't been good."</p><p>Steve frowned, but surprisingly let it go, falling silent, though his eyes didn't leave Bucky's lap, his hands twisting restlessly together atop his thighs.</p><p>"Steve?" He pressed cautiously. </p><p>At the sound of his name, the other man looked up, though it was barely a second before his gaze dropped down again.</p><p>"Can I...?" Steve asked hesitantly, half reaching towards him before stopping short, his hand hanging uselessly in the air between them.</p><p>"Really? You're asking permission <em> now</em>?"</p><p>The other man choked out a laugh, but he nodded.</p><p>"Anything you want." He repeated again, though his voice was soft this time, full of warm promise and Steve's eyes fluttered shut in response, his chest heaving as he sucked in a deep, shuddering breath.</p><p>When he opened his eyes again, he finished the aborted movement, reaching forward and making quick work of Bucky's pants. Even that was enough to have him biting his lip in an effort to muffle his whimpers, the barest brush of Steve's fingers over his clothes leaving him desperate for more. His friend was just as determined in this, however, as he was with everything else and a second later he was slipping his hand inside, his fingers curling deliberately around Bucky's erection and tearing a helpless moan from his throat.</p><p>"Can I suck you?" </p><p>"I won't last." He warned, already feeling like he was hanging on to the edge by the barest thread of his self-control.</p><p>"I don't want you to last, I want you to come." Steve told him and he nearly did just from the words alone.</p><p>When all he managed to get out in response was a choked off cry; a broken noise that only vaguely resembled Steve's name, the other man seemed to understand it as the permission it was intended to be. Shifting back on the seat, he quickly ducked his head, wrapping his mouth around Bucky's cock and swallowing him deep in one smooth movement. He had never felt anything like it and his hips bucked helplessly in an effort to push deeper into Steve's hot mouth, but somehow the other man didn't choke. Even when Bucky tumbled over the edge barely a second later, shooting down his friend's throat, he just took it all, swallowing Bucky's release like he was born to do it.</p><p>He was only half with it when he felt Steve drawing back, but he lunged for him anyway, catching hold of his arm before he could leave. "No don't." He pleaded. "Don't go yet."</p><p>"Not going anywhere." His friend promised roughly, merely pushing himself up from his half sprawl on the sofa to lean against Bucky's side instead.</p><p>This time when he refastened his pants it was a significantly easier endeavour and as soon as he was done he reached for the other man, wrapping one arm around his shoulders and holding him close. </p><p>"I'm sorry, Buck." Steve finally broke the silence. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I was just-" </p><p>"Scared?" Bucky interrupted, though he kept his voice soft. </p><p>The other man nodded miserably, his gaze fixed on his hands twisting nervously together in his lap. </p><p>"I know you were." He tucked a finger under his friend's chin tilting his head up until their eyes met. "I may not have known your deep dark secret, but I still know you, Stevie."</p><p>"I shouldn't have kept it from you. I know it was stupid to go there and it'd serve me right if someone did see me, I don't even think I was tryin'a hide it any more." He ducked his head back down, avoiding Bucky's gaze again. "I think I was hoping it'd get back to you without me having to tell you."</p><p>Bucky bit back a curse, forcing his features into a neutral expression before he responded. "Maybe next time, just tell me?" He suggested quietly, the closest he dared come to a reprimand.</p><p>"Yeah..."</p><p>"I get it though." He promised. "I get why you didn't tell me and I get why you were scared after what those guys said before."</p><p>"Was more scared you'd work out they were tellin' the truth and kick me out." Steve admitted. "Course, then I got mad and told you myself..." He grimaced. </p><p>"You'd have to do a lot worse than fuck a few guys for me to want rid of you."</p><p>"Even if one of those guys was you?" </p><p>"<em>Especially </em> because one of those guys was me." Bucky assured him. "It just guaranteed you'll <em> never </em> get rid of me. You know that, right?" </p><p>"But I hurt you!" </p><p>"A little, maybe, but it was good too. I..." He felt his cheeks flushing as he stumbled to get the words out. "I liked it, Steve, I mean I <em> really </em> liked it. I'd have come just from that if you'd kept going much longer." </p><p>"Really?" Steve's eyes were wide. </p><p>"Yeah." Bucky nodded. "If you wanted to do that again some time, I, er, well I wouldn't mind so much." </p><p>"You'd let me do that to you again?" His friend's tone was disbelieving, but there was something in his eyes, a banked heat that made Bucky's heart beat a little faster. </p><p>"I might even beg you." He admitted with a hint of a smile. "Although maybe not <em> right </em> now." </p><p>"No, of course not." Steve shrunk back from him a little and Bucky wasn't having that. </p><p>"Soon, though?" He pressed, pulling the other man back against him and not even trying to keep the hope out of his voice. </p><p>"If that's what you really want." His friend agreed uncertainly. </p><p>"We don't have to-" He started, but Steve didn't let him finish. </p><p>"But you want that? You want me to take you like that again? Hard and fast and... and not properly stretched? You want me to <em> hurt </em> you?" </p><p>"Yeah." Bucky admitted, wondering yet again what it meant that he liked it that way. </p><p>Steve was quiet for a long time before he finally said "Is that all you want?" and it didn't take much to work out what the other man was really asking him. </p><p>"I just want you." Bucky reached for his friend's hand, curling his fingers gently around the perpetually bruised knuckles. "Hard and fast, slow and gentle, any way <em> you </em> want <em> me</em>, I want it all. I don't mind <em> how</em>, just as long as you're here. As long as you don't..." </p><p>"Don't...?" Steve prompted him when he trailed off abruptly. </p><p>"Promise me you won't go back there." Bucky demanded suddenly, his hand tightening in his urgency. "<em>Please</em>, I couldn't bear it if-" </p><p>"I promise." Steve interrupted, squeezing back. </p><p>"Really?" Despite everything, he'd still expected more of a fight.</p><p>"Nothing I can get there could ever compete with this." He reached up with his free hand, stroking his fingers along Bucky's jaw, before leaning forward and touching his lips to the same spot. "'Sides, I only ever went there to try and forget about how much I wanted <em> you</em>."</p><p>"So you'll never go back there again?" Bucky had to check. </p><p>"Never." Steve assured him, pressed his lips against the corner of Bucky's mouth. "<em>Never </em> again." He kissed the other corner. "I'm yours, Buck, only yours." He slotted their mouths together, kissing him slow and deep, before finally drawing back with a soft smile. "To the end of the line." </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A little part of me dies every time I find myself ending a fic with such a ridiculously overused cliché of a line, but damn it, what's a fangirl to do when presented with such slashtastic canon-based gold? Still... I truly am sorry. </p><p>Also, just in case I didn't make it clear enough, Steve <i>would</i> have stopped (or slowed down) immediately if Bucky had asked him to, would probably have stopped regardless if he'd consciously realised how much he was hurting Bucky, and Bucky knew that. He chose not to ask, knowing (pretty much) what he was getting himself into, and not just because he was worried Steve would leave if he spoke up.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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